Gradually getting used to the whole assembly in my mouth. The braces are not too bad at all – they just feel as if I have a bit of knitting tangled around my teeth.

The TPA is a bigger deal, but I am slowly getting used to that too.

It feels as if I have a horse bit in my mouth – I go riding from time to time, and now I will have a lot more sympathy with the horses, especially when I am putting the bridle on. To put it in more equestrian terms, the TPA feels like a curb bit with a very high port.

Another good analogy, I feel, is with the medieval torture instrument called the "Scold's Bridle". This charming device was made of metal and used exclusively on talkative or quarrelsome women. There was a big metal cage that fitted around the head, and an iron piece, sometimes with spikes in for added effect, which fitted into the mouth and lay on the tongue. If the woman kept quiet, all was well. If not, it was agony. According to Wikipedia, similar devices are still used today in the BDSM fraternity.

Perhaps I ought to post this on a kinky sex site and get lots of money ...

The TPA caused my mouth to produce more saliva than normal at first, but this seems to have calmed down now. I was worried about slurping and dribbling in public places, but thankfully this has not happened.

It does also rub on my tongue a bit. I am not having the problems that Macy/Stacy seem to have suffered, but it is a little bit sore. I have carried on washing my mouth out with salt water, though, as I did after the extraction (1/2 teaspoon of salt dissolved in a cup of warm water) and this seems to solve the problem. The orthodontist recommended paracetamol (acetaminophen) rather than ibuprofen to sort out any pain, but this was not necessary after the first day.

The most bothersome thing is eating. My choice of foods has narrowed yet again. Just about everything gets caught around the TPA if I'm not careful.

Soup is OK, but it has to be really smooth, or the bits can be a problem. I had tomato and lentil soup earlier today, and the lentils snagged on the appliance. However, I squished them up with a spoon, and the problem stopped.

Bread is a bit tricky, because it goes soggy when you chew it, and you have to suck it off the TPA (gross). Best to take small bites.

Pasta didn't work nearly as well as I thought it would. I had some tortelloni on the first night, and this managed to wrap itself around the device. I think I will give it a miss in future.

Risotto was OK. The day after my fitting, I was invited out to a team lunch at work (uh-oh) at an Italian restaurant, and risotto was pretty much the only option for me. No chewing pizza – the bands around my molars are still a bit sore for anything like that. I managed OK with the risotto, as long as I took it slowly, but the bits of pancetta got caught unless I moved them to my very back molars.

Coffee is OK, obviously.

Wine is OK – thank God.

Chocolate is OK – hurrah!

Even sponge cake is OK, which was a lovely surprise – it is more crumby than bread, so doesn't stick.

Fruit is OK, as long as it is soft. I have had some clementines, which were fine, and some banana, which was also OK as long as I chewed it thoroughly.

Omelettes and poached eggs should be fine, as they break up easily.

Fish should be do-able as well.

I am going to miss my crunchy vegetables, though. I didn't realise how often I ate them. I will have to whizz them up into soup if I have them at all.

Sleeping with the TPA was another thing that concerned me. However, it doesn't seem to be a problem, especially since I sleep with my head slightly raised.

Tooth-brushing is fiddly, but that is because of the brace. I use a soft brush with a small head, and have to go gently because my teeth twinge a bit when I brush around the brackets. I brush my tongue as well, to help keep the TPA clean. Then I follow with a salt-water rinse for hygiene and controlling any soreness.

I am starting to forget that the TPA is there, from time to time.

I have also discovered how to get a musical note out of it, by twanging it with my finger, but perhaps I had better not do that too often.